Do You Want It .. ?

I bonded with my father tonight. That only happens like once every other month. I came home from work, and he was all asking me my opinion on what he should do with his truck, and asking me questions about glass and screens(told you I'm a pro),and laughing. I fucking made him laugh. I can't even explain how awesome that makes me feel. You see, my dad is cold. To anyone that knows me ... that's where I get it from. I completely understand him though, like he doesn't have to be all lovey-dovey with me for me to know he loves me. I'm not sure why he's that way. He just brush things off. Keep his cool. Nothing bothers him. I try to be like that -- but something always throws me off. I just don't get the part yet about how I'm suppose deal with really loving someone, who doesn't understand how I work. My best friend, for instance, knows how I am. Knows that I don't get emotional with her. If she tells me something tramatic -- it doesn't faze me, don't blink an eye. I'm like, well, cold. I'm not sure how one's suppose to deal with this. Or if I can make it go away, or if I want to. Hmmm... time will tell.

Jimmy. The son of the owner of the company I work for. I've been suuuper tight with him for like 3 years. His parents got a divorce a couple years ago. He's been in a depression ever since. He was really close with his mother, and she basically threw it all away for some random idiot. So Jimmy doesn't see her, nor does he want to. So -- he's been in and out of my life during his adjustments. In fact, he knew me back when I was fat, and so was he. He lost a shitload of weight, like me, and is ultra skinny now. My point being, he knows me quite well .. pre-hotness. Well, he called me tonight. I love talking to him, I'm so at ease. We just get along so well. We flirt like crazy. I think about what it would be like to take that next step with him. I wonder if he's thinking the same thing. I just want to kiss him one day. To see what's up. Maybe it would ruin EVERYthing. He's such a great person, he deserves the best there is out there for a woman. I'm certainly not it ..