Holy slut.

I took the personality test over again on OkCupid.com. I thought for sure they were right the 1st time ... which they were .. I'd say I'm a combo of both.

"Genghis Khunt" (Random Brutal Sex Master) We almost called you Brutus the Uterus. But we figured you wouldn't understand, and rightly so. We don't understand either. So you are Genghis Khunt: master of man, bringer of pain--riding your way to conquest after conquest. Your sexual avarice is legendary. You've already had an unusually high amount of experience, and, still you look for more. You intimidate many. You make no apologies. Your exact opposite: The Sonnet (Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer) Personality-wise, you're carefree and relatively easy-going. You don't plan things out ahead of time; you tend to live in the moment. Of course, this can cause some damage when the moment happens to include a screaming orgasm with his younger brother. Hence the 'brutal' tag we've given you. But you know what, take five seconds to lock the doors, and you'll be fine. There's nothing wrong with a little sex, or a whole lot. AVOID: The Slow Dancer CONSIDER: The 5-Night Stand, The Hornivore, The Playboy .

It suggests that I'm a little promiscuous. Hmmm .. am I that bad?? I hadn't thought so before reading this trash talking me. OH well. After all it's just a stupid website, right?? Well tonight's New Year's for all of those who live under a HUGE pile of rocks. I have no plans yet. I have 2 options I think. I know I'll be drinking. As for who with .. that's the mystery. Hope everyone has a good one. Peace.

Emotion

I'm realizing now that I'm in a slight depression. I cry all the time for "no reason". I miss my only true friend. The guy I could say ANYTHING to. The guy that made me smile no matter how pissed I was. The guy who rocked my world. I see him now only like once a week for like 5 minutes a time. (For those of you that follow my pathetic life, he's one of the guys I worked with - who left). I'm driving along I hear a song that reminds me of him. I start crying. I have so much inside of me that wants to come out. But I have no one to talk to. I can't trust my so called "best friend" as far as I could throw her. And that's all I have. I just want to tell him little things, like how horny I am or how bad I hate where I'm living. I want to ask him how a certain outfit looks on me. Or listen to him bitch about someone in his life. He could go on forever about a subject if you let him. He helped me through so much. I have a huge void. I don't even feel like going out. I don't feel like myself. I opened up to him, NOW I'm paying the price. This is why I don't open up to everyone. I let my guard down -- see what happened. Although, if I could turn back time I wouldn't change a damn thing. I had a lot of fun with him. It's like I'm missing part of me. The happy part. The confident part. He helped me see the good in things. The good in ME. He was a Godsend. He broke my heart though. It hurts - I've never felt anything like it. I feel so alone. I AM alone. On a better note; I hope everyone got what they wanted for Christmas. I know what I want, but he wasn't under my tree this morning. I hope everyone is with family or loved ones. I would also like to make sure everyone is praying for the people fighting this useless war for fuckhead Bush. I've had Christmas without my dad because of war -- it's cold. So TONS of love this season & every season to the people who have loved ones at battle.

Merry Christmas to all.

Money, money, money.

I start my new job Jan. 5th. I told everyone at my current job that I will be leaving. They requested that I still stay on as part-time help -- I slept on it, and told them that I would love to. For the first 2 weeks at my new job, I will be working 10am - 6pm to train. Then I will switch to the hours of Noon - 8pm permanently This will be my full time job w/health insurance and the whole nine. Then from 8am - 11:30am, I will work at my current job. Approx 18 hours a week. I'll be making a hell of a lot more money than I am now AND I won't have to completely say goodbye to they guys I know and love so well. It's hopefully a win-win situation. I may tire during the week & have NO life -- but I do have weekends off!! My time at the gym will decrease immensely. I hope it's all worth it. My PT said that I need to come in a do at 60 minutes of cardio Saturdays & Sundays if I can't make it during the week. As far as my strength training, that's been a no go for the last 3 weeks. I gave up on that -- I started gaining muscle --- and I didn't like it. It was adding pounds on the scale and I can't make myself like it. I've decided cardio only -- and abs, for a while. I'm stupid for this decision, I know.