Here kitty kitty kitty ..

Last night I spent like 2 hours chasing 2 kittens, that are 3 months old, around a house. Once caught, we put this go-away-flea gel on them, then had to comb it into their fur. Uhmm why did I volunteer to help do that??? Oh that's right, because I'm a kick ass friend. Anyways, I'm never getting a cat.

Why am I so damn cold inside. Like I've been beaten severely to the point that there's nothing happy in me. Hmmm .. not cool. Well, someday I'll figure myself out. Ya. That's it. Peace.

Honey I'm Home.

Holy shit. I need out. Out of this fucking house. I'm going insane. Anyone who's ever wondered what the fuck is wrong with me, needs to walk a mile in my shoes while I'm here. It's just all fucked up. Guess I need to find someone to live with ... any takers??? Just playing. I know I HAVE to have a roommate, cause I know I can't afford it on my own. I also know that I cannot, no WILLNOT, live with a female. Males only. Whatever ... I'll probably be living here until I'm friggin' 30. Much like my useless brother. Yay. Moving on ... my life's the same. Been hitting the gym 85 times a week -- well that's what it feels like, it's actually 5 times. I'm getting pretty toned ... as I should be, as hard as I've been working. That's another thing about living here, I think I'm eating too much, and not enough of the right things. So that's NOT helping my body whatsoever. Blah. That's all that's on my mind tonight. I'm going to sleep. Peace.

I Miss You.

I just finished reading some writings I had done up like this past summer. Most of it was about Ryan. The guy, in Lee, who I dated on and off for like 2 years. All I can say is, I miss him. I miss how happy I felt with him. How innocent things were. How he made me feel when we touched. I don't just miss him though, I miss all of them up there. Even Dolly. Yuck. Yeah. Moving right along. I'm sorta hanging out with this guy. I had a one night stand with him a couple months ago. Well it was suppose to be a one night thing, except I ran into him last weekend again. SO now we hang out. Like every night this week. Very interesting. I'm keeping my distance -- as I normally do -- but I'm thinking he'll be gone quicker than he showed up. Which is fine. He's cool shit to hang with. He's also helping me with some of my senses that I've been neglecting. Bringing back to the hearing impaired world. I like that. Ok. Well then. I think I'm out for now. Oh by the way -- I didn't get that job I sent the resume to. I suck. Peace.

Finally ...

I finally did it! I sent a cover letter & resume to a company that is hiring. I'm really excited about it ... I have several friends that work for this same company, they think I'm in. But we'll see. I don't want to say too much about any of it -- but thought everyone should know that I grew some balls, and got out of my comfort zone and did it!! Yay. I'm out.

It's all about the Benjamins .. Baby

So -- it's been a while. I haven't the slightest clue what happened. I was so excited about posting blogs on here, and then BOOM, it all kind of disappeared. I still really enjoy doing it. I don't know it's fucked. Last weekend was a blast for me, hope it was fun for everyone else too. I went and danced my ass of at, as some people would say, "The Barnyard". In fact, I fell on my ass in front of a fuckload of people. I was wearing a dress, which was up around my friggin' neck at that point. Smooth, very smooth. Ya. I stayed with a friend of mine, Andy, all weekend. His wacked out girlfriend and him live together now. They both JUST got out of divorces, and decided to move in together .. he already wants out. I don't blame him, she's way too much to deal with, especially fresh out of a divorce. Nasty shit. I'm NEVER getting married. OR having kids while I'm on the subject of life long commitments.
I am sending a company a cover letter & resume tomorrow via email. It's a software company that several of my friends work for -- and they recommended me to them and them to me. I'm really, really, really stoked about it. I would make 10k more a year, and it's in town here. Which means my ass can move out of here -- and I can remove myself from this small rut I'm in. That's my issue right now. Living here. I'm trying really hard to make the best of everything, as usual, but it's really fucking hard. I find I'm eating way more the I should be -- that MIGHT have something to do with the fact of everyone at this house calling me fat. Well, not everyone ... it may as well be. I know .. cry me a fucking river, right?? I'll be alright. So I guess this is it for tonight. I'll try to post more this coming week. I'm out.

Yay.

I love smiles. People should do it more often. It makes other people smile. Then, before you know it everyone's smiling. Well that was exciting. Right?? No. I know it's bullshit. Eh, I can wish for life to be that simple. I can wish that when I smile at somebody ... they'll smile back. Not meaning a "I like what I see" smile either. I genuine smile. OK. That's all I got tonight. Oh -- I love life. Peace.

The Wild Rose

The Wild Rose. " Random Brutal Love Dreamer". Colorful, but unpicked. You are The Wild Rose. Prone to bouts of cynicism, sarcasm, and thorns, you excite a certain kind of man. Hoping to gather you up, he flirts and winks and asks you out, ultimately professing his love. Then you make him bleed. Why? Because you're the rare, independent, self-sufficient kind of woman who does want love, but not from a weakling. You don't seem to take yourself too seriously, and that's refreshing. You aren't uptight; you don't over-plan. Romance-wise, sex isn't a top priority--a true relationship would be preferable. For your age, you haven't had a lot of bonafide love experience, though, and this kind of gets to core of the issue. You're very selective. The problem is them, not you, right? You have lofty standards that few measure up to. You're out there all right, but not to be picked up by just anyone.
"You're never truly single as long as you have yourself."

Acccording to OkCupid.com .. this is me. The really, extremely scary thing, is that it's completely accurate. Sucks that a friggin' retarded little website can sum me up in so few words. Oh well. 'Tis life. I guess I don't have much too exciting to say tonight. Still trying to force myself to exit out of my comfort level, and get a new job. I know I need to ... soon.
***SOMETHING EXCITING*** I witnessed an car/bike accident at work today. A woman turning into our front parking lot, didn't see a motorcycle coming and turned right in front of the biker and the dude on the bike hit her. He flew off his bike and hit the side of the car with his body, and then flew into the middle of the road, which is where he laid for like almost an hour. Cops made the driver of the car take an OUI test. Drunk old hag. He had a compound break in is upper arm, which means his bone was poking out ... nasty shit. It's making my re-think my planned trip to Augusta this Sunday on the back of bike with a friend of mine. I mean that's fucking scary ... what if I were to go and end up in the middle of the street somewhere with random bones sticking out of my skin????? OR what if I just fell off???? But, what if we don't have an accident, and I have a kick ass time??? I guess I'll probably just go and live life. Good idea. Thought I was a little paranoid there for a minute, didn't ya?? Nah. I'm way too chill for all that. Maybe more later. I'm out.